


red.

by wondaerlust



Series: lilac. [1]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 18:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17229356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wondaerlust/pseuds/wondaerlust
Summary: little notes therese wrote about carol.





	1. 1

I really don’t know how it happened. But it just did. I mean, I knew I liked her from the moment I’ve met her but god, I have never thought I’d ever love her this much.


	2. 2

A goddess among us mortals. That’s how I would describe her if you ever asked me. There’s just something unreal about her, like she’s from the different realm and I’ve never met anyone like her.


	3. 3

We talked. Someone said something funny and she just started laughing. She looked at me and the whole time she was laughing not for one second did she break eye contact. Her laughter is adorable and in that moment all I wanted to do is tell her how much I love her.


	4. 4

I’ve noticed that every time someone says something funny and she laughs, she looks at me. It’s kinda weird but I love it. And it happens a lot, she just looks at me, for no reason at all. Just as I look at her, but my reason is that she’s so mesmerizingly beautiful that I can’t stop looking.


	5. 5

I saw her in the street just as I was starting my day, she looked amazing as always. She was talking on the phone as I passed by she smiled at me and I knew my day would be amazing.


	6. 6

Maybe I miss her just a little more than I should be. Maybe I leave the house more often hoping that I would see her. And maybe, just maybe, for some reason I fall in love with her even more each day we’re apart.


	7. 7

Sometimes I wonder what her mornings are like. Does she wake up and make herself a coffee? Does she like her coffee dark and bitter, or sweet just like her? Or does she prefer tea? Maybe she listens to music or reads the paper. Does she dances around the kitchen making herself breakfast? I guess I’ll never know...


	8. 8

It’s New Year’s morning and I’m laying here surrounded by almost complete strangers who are asleep, and wondering whether she had a great night into the new year and if she spent it with her friends or maybe just a bottle of great wine, blankets and her dog. Either way I wish I was there with her and not here stuck in this place with drunken strangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year everyone i hope you had a great year and i hope you have an even more amazing one to come


	9. 9

Today she needed my help with something and of course I selfishly took that time to sit as close to her as possible and just be around her as much time as we had. And of course she asked me to do something and I did it ten times more than that but I guess that happens sometimes. Especially when you’re in love.


	10. 10

Maybe I just had a bit too much to drink, and maybe I miss her too much, but I could’ve sworn I saw her in this bar ten seconds ago even though I know it is impossible. But it’s only a couple more days and it will stop. A couple more days and I’ll finally see her again. And it may not be the greeting like I wish it could be (meaning: me running to her telling her how much I love her) but it will be enough to make me stop from going insane and seeing her in all the faces that are surrounding me.


	11. 11

She wanted to take me out for a lunch today. “You barely ever get out of the house anymore.” she said. But does she know that the only reason I stay at the house is because if I go out I’ll see her face in all the faces of the strangers walking past me?


	12. 12

We went to theater last night. I let her choose what we’d be watching. She picked some musical. She said they’re her favorite. I loved it, but how could I ever concentrate on the play when such a stunning creature was sitting right beside me?


	13. 13

In a different time and a different life maybe I wouldn’t have fallen in love with her, damn, maybe I wouldn’t have even met her. Sure that would’ve made my life so much easier and with less pain, but I wouldn’t want that. Because what would my life be without her? Boring? Yes. Predictable? Absolutely. She is kind of a mystery that keeps my life interesting. Keeps it unpredictable. And I love that about her. And even though it comes with a lot of pain, I wouldn’t want it any other way.


	14. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is where the story line kind of starts developing, i think.

Today she told me stories about her life with Harge. And God, what a lucky bastard he is. How did he not see all he had right there in front of him. But maybe it was for the best. Because if it wasn’t for him being an asshole maybe she wouldn’t have moved in the house across the street. And maybe I would have never met her.


	15. 15

I almost told her. I almost poured my little heart out to her. I almost told her how much I loved her. But I didn’t. And maybe it’s for the best. Maybe the time just isn’t right yet.


	16. 16

We have developed this little habit. In the morning, when I’m going to work, and she is doing her usual daily shopping, we’d go together and stop by at this cute little coffee shop. Sometimes I end up being late for work, but I just don’t have it in me to stop her talks about anything and everything.


	17. 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more update for today just to thank you for all the support of this weird little story of mine

I just remembered the day I met her. She returned home from Abby’s and while trying to park her car she knocked over my trash can. I went out to see what was that loud sound and there I saw her. So mesmerizingly beautiful. She was apologizing for 5 minutes straight. After that, to apologize even more, she invited me over for tea. I really don’t know how I functioned that whole time, when all I could thing about is how beautiful she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at this point therese is just in constant gay panic and isn’t functioning around carol


	18. 18

She touched my shoulder. I was sitting at her house drinking tea. She needed to get something from the kitchen and as she walked past me she touched my shoulder. I’m sure it didn’t mean anything to her, but to me, it was everything.


	19. 19

I’m writing this at a coffee shop we usually go to. She got sick and couldn’t come with me today. It’s unusually quiet and lonely. I don’t think I ever even realized what effect she has on my day and my life in general.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a big plot twist for this chapter planned but i kinda felt it was still too soon for that so i decided this is better maybe


	20. 20

I went to visit her after work today because she is sick. I brought her soup and what not. We laid in her bed watching whatever came on TV (mostly the real housewives of New York City). I wish our every day could be like this, without her being sick of course. But she is still so beautiful even when she’s sick...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably not what you’d expect carol to watch but binge watching reality shows is something i think everyone does when they’re sick


	21. 21

Today the weirdest thing happened. While I was at her house Abby was there, she pulled me to the side and told me that I should make a move. She said that she sees the way we look at each other. I was speechless. I just stood there unable to say anything. Was it that obvious?


	22. 22

I decided that I’m not gonna take Abby’s advice. At least not yet. But instead I’ll try dropping little hints here and there and maybe she realises what’s going on.


	23. 23

This afternoon she asked me to babysit Rindy since her nanny got sick and she had some job interview. Rindy and I must’ve been so into playing with her train set that we didn’t even notice when she came back home and stood at the door watching us.


	24. 24

It was Rindy’s birthday today and Carol invited me over for cake and drinks. I got her a few dresses for the doll Carol recently bought for her. After she opened gifts we ate cake and Carol did the most adorable thing by putting some of whipped cream on my nose. Honestly, if it was anyone else, I probably would’ve freaked out but it was her and when she does it, it’s so cute.


	25. 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little jealous Therese before things get, well kinda serious, i guess?

Yesterday after Carol put Rindy to sleep I stayed a little while longer. Abby was there too. And don’t get me wrong, I like Abby, I have nothing against her, but she and Carol are always so touchy and it kind of makes me jealous...


	26. 26

Today when I came home from work I found a note at my door. It was from Carol. It said: “Dearest, I was here today but you have obviously haven’t returned from work yet. Drop by my house tomorrow, won’t you? Love, Carol.” I’m not gonna lie, I am a little scared, what could it be that she had to leave a note for me?


	27. 27

“Maybe you’d like to come with me?” She asked and waited for my response. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if that was a great idea. She had gotten some free trip to LA and she wanted me to join her.   
“Yes, I’d love to.” Well, here goes nothing.


	28. 28

Ever since yesterday I just couldn’t stop thinking about the trip. Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes. What if she finds out about how I’m feeling and that ruins the whole trip. There are just too many things that could go wrong, but I guess it’s too late to get out of it now.


	29. 29

Carol is coming over later to help me pack for the trip. For some reason all of the sudden I’m really excited for this trip. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea after all. I mean, I’ll get to spend time with her and what more could I ask for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized that all of the sudden I started using Carol’s name and it kinda feels as if it came to me naturally as they grew closer


	30. 30

Last night Carol stayed late helping me pack. We were sitting on the bed in my room and she brushed my hair. She even tried braiding it but it was too short. I swear, the whole time she was doing it I couldn’t breathe, let alone process anything she was saying to me.


	31. 31

Our trip is in few days and I cannot wait for it. Hopefully I don’t do anything stupid or embarrassing. And hopefully I don’t tell her how I feel. Honestly, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to me not to tell her, I guess I’m afraid or something, but I just really don’t want her to know. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case y’all are getting bored, the actual trip is happening in 2-3 notes and before that i have two extremely cute notes


	32. 32

Today Carol came over while I was finishing up some papers for work and she sat there next to me. I thought that maybe she would do something for herself while I’m dealing with that, but when I looked up from my papers I saw her just looking at me and smiling. God, I have never loved anyone more than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is actually inspired by what happened to me yesterday in school so there’s that...


	33. 33

“Oh how I love you.” Carol said laughing and I just froze in that moment. I know she said it just because I told this joke but those words coming out of her mouth were just a lot. I wanted to say I love you back, but it just isn’t the right time. I’m beginning to wonder if there ever will be the right time.


	34. 34

Today is the day! Carol is coming over soon with Abby who will be taking us to the airport. I can’t wait for our trip to start. I heard LA is beautiful. And I’ll get to experience it all with her, Carol, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go...


	35. 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i kind of failed to mention apart from mentioning it in tags that this whole thing is set in kind of modern time and not 50s. There’s no actual date or year or anything but yea just letting you know that

We are currently on our plane to LA. I never thought of Carol as someone who’s terrified of planes, but she is. She is sleeping right now, I guess she took one of those pills to help her deal with the situation. Poor girl was so terrified that she is still holding my hand so tightly. Her head is on my shoulder and I can’t help but notice how beautiful her hair smells.


	36. 36

Today when we arrived at the hotel I was left kind of disappointed. I don’t wanna seem selfish or anything, I didn’t expect us to share a bed, but I at least wanted to be in the same room as her. But I guess I’ll have to be satisfied with spending next few days with her and nights away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at first i wanted to put them in the same bed but then i realized it would’ve neen too predictable


	37. 37

Last night when we went for our first walk around here we found this little park close to the hotel we’re staying in. We sat on the bench there and talked for a quite long time while eating some snacks she brought. I found out that her favorite color is red and she loves musicals.


	38. 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my brain decided to have a block in the best part of the story so im sorry that i havent updated in two days and that the past few chapters (including this one) are not really good

Today we went to this perfume shop because she wanted to get a new perfume. She asked me for help while picking it out but, well, I wasn’t of much help, because her old perfume will forever be my favorite.


	39. 39

After perfume picking we went to this really pretty restaurant. The place we sat at was very intimate and the whole night was kind of intense. I really love spending time with her like this but it may be a bit too much for my poor little heart. Again, we talked about everything and anything. Some new things I found out about her are that she’s really into wine and buying stationery even when she doesn’t need any.


	40. 40

After the dinner we went to the hotel.   
“Therese?” she said as we were standing outside our rooms. “Would you like to join me in my room for some drinks?”  
Of course I said yes. This is an opportunity I couldn’t miss. Maybe I’ll even get a chance to finally tell her how I feel.


	41. 41

As soon as the door of her room closed she pushed me up against the nearest wall and kissed me. I didn’t expect it, but I gladly went along with it. She tasted like cherries and vodka, and damn I loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update today just to thank you for supporting this story and to make up for making you wait this long for this to happen


	42. 42

I spent the night with Carol. Nothing major happened I just didn’t feel like going back to my room at five in the morning after we got tired from our long conversations. We slept snuggled together and it was one of the most beautiful nights in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this idea for a while and i was wondering would any of you like if i wrote another fic called ‘blue’ where its all these moments just from carol’s pov? and also maybe ‘lilac’ after that where its their life together with rindy?


	43. 43

I feel like the weight has been taken off my chest. Maybe it was for the best that she made the first move, I don’t know, maybe if I told her something and she didn’t feel the same our friendship would’ve been ruined and I probably would never forgive myself for that. But thankfully, she feels the same way, it’s only sad that we are leaving this place in few days. I had such a wonderful time here and I wish it could all last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today i had this idea for carol’s pov and i have already posted ‘blue’ so please check it out if you’d like. it wont be updated as frequently until i finish ‘red’ but i just wanted to have it there for when i get my moments of inspiration to write that


	44. 44

We haven’t talked much about what’s gonna happen when we get back home but I hope it won’t go back to how it was before the other night. I really can’t imagine my life without Carol now.


	45. 45

On the plane Carol got kind of scared again and I was there to hold her once again. She looked so beautiful just laying there in a strange sitting position. She put her legs in my lap and I couldn’t stop myself from caressing her soft skin that shown in places where her skirt didn’t cover her legs. A smile appeared on her face and I knew it was her way of telling me to don’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could be the end of red. but i would love to hear your opinion on it. so i wrote 5 more chapters on this but it kind of felt like it was more likely to fit into lilac, because it suddenly switched from ‘she’ to ‘we’ and that’s what lilac will be all about, so I don’t know, what do y’all think? also i might need a few days to set up ‘blue’ so if im not posting you know what’s happening


End file.
